Whose Dream Are You Living

Whose Dream

I sat down for coffee with a friend and past colleague this week, and we had a great conversation.

She reached out on LinkedIn.

I hadn't realized she'd left her partnership role at KPMG, and once I had, I wanted to sit, talk and catch up on life.

We'd worked together, and she'd been an advisor while I was in industry. Not to mention, our kids went to the same school, but it'd been years since we talked.

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Back to Coffee

The first thing I wanted to know was why she'd left her great role.

The answer flattened me and it hit home.

She replied I realized I was living someone else's dream.

It hit me like a ton of bricks.

For the last 25 years, it's what I've been doing.

I may have mentioned it in passing, but never dove deep, I never intended to be an accountant.

It's probably the last thing anyone in my family would have expected.

Heck, they were probably surprised I went to college.

I guess it's why I did my Class 1 with Air, so I could drive tractor trailer or really anything for a backup living (but that's a whole other story)...

When I first went to college, I majored in English and Psychology with the goal of pursuing a career in Psychology while writing Fiction on the side.

At the time, with fairness, my girlfriend suggested I change to a degree that would get me a job, and so, I did. I changed to accounting.

I've never asked her this nor confirmed my hypothesis, but I think she may not have had faith in me then...

A college degree in Psychology wouldn't have been enough to get a well-paying job; I likely would have needed to do a Master's Degree or even a PhD.

Her faith couldn't have been too high based on what she'd seen in high school.

It's not all bad, though.

When I commit to something, I commit.

For the last 25 years, I've played the part of an accountant and I've played it really well.

Really well.

I was lucky enough to be hired by KPMG, my first big break, and made some of my closest friends in my year group. Some are now running practices across the country or are the CFO of one of the largest developers in our city. These are people who've pushed, supported and challenged me for 25 years.

With my wife's support, I climbed the corporate ladder and became the CFO of one of the top real estate development companies in our city.


Not bad for a guy who never wanted to be an accountant.


The Subconscious

You've heard it from me before. It's one of my favorite quotes.

Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.
- Carl Jung

The same thing happened for her that was happening with me.

It starts to drag you down. You feel like something's wrong, but you can't put your finger on it.

You can't know.

Generally, you haven't done the Work.

This is what I refer to as our hardware, friends.

It's that conditioning that happens in our childhood that we're not even aware of.

Until we do the work to understand our hardwiring, we let our conditioning lead us and we don't even know it, even if we're feeling the cognitive dissonance.

The Work

Six or seven years ago, I started to do the Work after my wife and I had a fight I thought may end our marriage until she said I’ll never stop fighting for us.

It was then I realized.

I couldn’t change her role in our marriage.

But, I could change how I showed up in our marriage as a friend, father and husband.

I also realized I needed to learn how to be a man to show up for my sons and help raise them to be good men.

I joined a men’s group—Dove deep into manhood, psychoanalysis, shadow work and more.

I was doing everything I could to become the best version of myself.

I’d already worked on my operating systems in my early 30s and my software in my mid 30s, but now it was dismantling and rebuilding my hardware.

I had a Buddhist coach and started to see a specialist in the area of Shadow Work and Psychoanalysis.

After all that work, I realized the same thing my friend did during coffee, I was living someone else's life.

When I said yes to my wife 25 years ago, I locked away who I was meant to become in this world.

This is the transition you’ve been watching.

I’ve been shifting from who I was to who I’m going to be, and you’ve been watching it live, which I appreciate.

Ten months ago, I put Mission 2040 into the Universe, which someone mocked last night, that’s okay, besides the point.

The point was, it worked.

Within one month, I was exploring three options:

  1. Accepted into a PhD in Psychology Program
  2. In talks to start a real estate development company
  3. Having a conversation with someone about a PE role

The decision had to be made and it was.

It’s why I’ve been so busy for the last nine months.

It’s why I resigned from my role as a CFO, which paid me A LOT of money, in December.

Next week, in our newsletter, I’m going to tell you what I chose, what it means, and what you can expect next.

Until then, I want to know.

Whose Dream Are You Living?

TGG Podcast

This week on the Growth Guide Podcast, I talk about why I think we're living in a simulation and, it's the best thing ever:

  • Rules
  • Hacks
  • Exploits

Elon Musk has leveraged what I call the Matrix Mindset more than most, and has said:

If you assume any rate of improvement at all, then games will be indistinguishable from reality, or civilization will end. One of those two things will occur. Therefore, we are most likely in a simulation, because we exist.

With a Matrix Mindset, you should be focused on pattern recognition.

Here’s some of the patterns I want you to look for:

  • Skill stacks
  • Habits and behaviors
  • Paths of successful people

To hear more The Matrix Mindset, Listen on Apple and Spotify or watch on YouTube:

Do me a favor, Team:

  1. Watch on YouTube
  2. Rate, subscribe and comment

The more YouTube grows, the more we'll be able to have conversations with guests you want me to talk to.

video preview

Last Word 👋

I love hearing from readers and I'm always looking for your feedback.

How I'm doing with the Growth Guide. Is there anything you want to see more of or less? Which aspects of the Newsletter or Podcast do you like the most?

Hit reply, say hello, and let me know what you think of this week's newsletter.

I'd love to chat with you !

All my best,


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The Growth Guide

Welcome to the Growth Guide where I simplify psychology, success and money by sharing advice from millionaires, expert authors and my life to help you grow: Personally, Professionally and Financially. Join 26,000+ readers!

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